RIP Goose?

So, I work in Blue Ash. Headquarters to all goose and....... geese?? I am constantly annoyed at these long-necked honkers. Mostly because of the fact that I am an impatient asshole who leaves for work 5 minutes too late every day. Do they own the right away to the roads? I say.....fuck no they dont. I feel confident that they are in the wrong. As far as Im concerned, jaywalking is illegal, even for feathered fuckers like themselves.





On that note, why Blue Ash. Why not goshen? At least there they can befriend other ignorant creatures and livestock. Goose suck. Or is it Geese? Regardless. I invision myself jumping out of my jeep, almost ninja-like, creeping up behind them and throwing a chinese flying dagger at ones neck, while screaming at the top of my lungs "Whos Cornell is it now?????"

But, I would never do that, I love animals too much. Though at time I would like to yell die out my window and have all of them within yelling distance magically die, like I am goose god. Also, what I am wondering. Has anybody ever seen a dead goose? I havent, not even in the Goose land of Blue Ash. And its not like one would be easy to miss. They are fucking huge. Maybe they just dissinegrate into Goose shit. Or maybe crazy rednecks from goshen are mad that they arnet in Goshen and the steal their bodies and mount them like sail-fish on their trailer walls. Damn Goshen, and damn Goose.....or is it Geese?